(#69) Confidence Hotline: Fear Of Public Speaking, Social Anxiety and Job Struggles with Caitlyn Kumi
3 Game-Changing Confidence Hacks for Your Career and Social Life 🚀
Whether you're battling the fear of public speaking, navigating social anxiety, or struggling with a career slump, you're not alone.
In this episode of the Confident and Killing It Podcast, host Tiwa Adebayo sat down with confidence guru and founder of Miss Empowher, Caitlyn Kumi, to tackle these very dilemmas. They dropped some serious wisdom on how to level up your self-belief and strategically build the life you want.
Here are some of the top takeaways from their conversation.
Build Confidence by Building a Strategy
Forget waiting to feel confident. The secret is to build it with strategic action. Caitlyn Kumi, who founded Miss Empowher while still in university, supercharged her growth by focusing on three core pillars:
Become a Student of Others: Actively learn from the successes and failures of those who've gone before you. As Caitlyn says, "Nine times out of ten, somebody has been in my shoes before." This saves you time, money, and stress.
Cultivate Your Circle: Your network is your greatest asset. Focus on building genuine connections with people you trust. Developing a "spirit of discernment" is key to navigating challenges and finding support.
Protect Your Foundation: True confidence is built on well-being. Prioritizing your health is non-negotiable. As Caitlyn puts it, taking a strategic "reset to come back better" isn't quitting—it's essential.
The key takeaway? When you face a challenge, don't question your worth. As Tiwa noted, it's time to question your strategy.
2. Reframe Social Anxiety and Dating
For anyone struggling to put themselves out there socially, Caitlyn’s advice is simple: take the pressure off. Instead of viewing every date as an audition for a life partner, approach it with a different mindset.
"This is just meeting a friend," Caitlyn suggests. "If I was stuck in an airport with this person, could we just chit-chat for like two, four hours?" By focusing on friendship first, you can build a genuine connection without the overwhelming weight of expectation.
Tiwa added that social anxiety often stems from imagining the worst-case scenario. Instead, challenge yourself to "spend the same amount of time thinking about the best-case scenario."
3. Conquer the Fear of Public Speaking
Terrified of public speaking? You're not alone. Both Tiwa and Caitlyn admitted it doesn't come naturally to them either. Their secret weapon? Practice and positioning.
Start small. Volunteer to lead a team meeting, host a dinner with friends, or simply speak up more in conversations. Every opportunity is a chance to practice becoming the speaker you want to be.
Tiwa shared her "Three C's" for aspiring leaders:
Clarity: Be clear on who you are and the message you want to share.
Confidence: Understand the power of your voice and know that you deserve to be heard.
Credibility: Don't just talk about yourself; share lessons, wisdom, and knowledge to build trust and position yourself as a thought leader.
Ultimately, visibility creates opportunities. As Caitlyn's mentor once told her, the goal is to "make people come to you" by building a strong, authentic personal brand.
‘‘Final Thoughts’’
Your next move is your most confident one
The biggest takeaway from Tiwa and Caitlyn's conversation is this: confidence is not a destination you arrive at, but a muscle you build through intentional action. Each strategy—from reframing a date as "meeting a friend" to practicing your pitch in a low-stakes meeting—is a rep at the confidence gym.
These aren't just quick hacks; they represent a fundamental shift from waiting to feel ready to deciding to get ready. The power to step into your most confident self isn't out there somewhere waiting for you; it's in the very next strategic action you decide to take.
This is just a glimpse of the wisdom shared in this powerful episode. To get the full blueprint on mastering your mindset and building strategic confidence, you need to hear the full conversation.
🎧 Listen to Episode #69: "Confidence Hotline" now on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube.