How to rest and not feel guilty about it
I am not superwoman. I am not superwoman. I am not superwoman…
I used to pride myself on being a great multi-tasker. Tiwa the chief organiser. Tiwa the jack of all trades. Being idle was my worst enemy. I'm THAT person that starts cleaning up at house parties because I feel awkward when no one is talking to me. I love being busy. To me there's nothing more satisfying than ticking off a box on my to-do-list. But I have now woken up to the realisation that being busy doesn't always mean you're making progress and moving forward.
Now that I am awake it's time to wake you up too.
Waking up to rest
After having a cold on and off for 4 MONTHS at the beginning of this year, I knew I was doing something wrong. My body was sending me serious alarm bells. I had been moving from working excessively to excessive burn out. There was no balance. There was no sleep. My mind was always racing thinking of the next thing I should be doing.
As a teenager my self worth was based on my grades at school. So even now as an adult I still have the tendency to base my worth on how hard I'm working and how much I'm achieving. BUT THAT IS A LIE. So what’s the truth? The truth is your worth isn't based on how many boxes you tick off on your to-do list. Your worth is intrinsic. You have and will always have worth. Nothing can take that away. Not even a "lazy" day.
The idea of rest is counter cultural. In a world where hustle is glorified, rest seems like something for people with no future ambition. BUT THAT IS A LIE. So what's the truth? The truth is rest is essential and if you actually want to be successful you'll rest and take care of yourself. Incase you didn't know…you are not a superhero. You are a human. Humans need rest and that is OK. When you pause and reflect you allow yourself to get clarity and make better decisions. When you rest you can recharge and go the extra mile. Tell me, what goals can you really achieve if you're ill half the time?
Waking up to being present
Whilst I was working excessively I moved prayer and meditation to the back burner. It became something I did if I had time i.e never. Even when I had time, I found it so difficult to focus on the bible passage I was reading. My mind just was not there. Reaching for my phone mid prayer or meditation became a thing. I know you know what I’m talking about.
I used to justify my actions by telling myself that I'm working hard pursuing my purpose, so God would understand that I'm too busy to pray. BUT THAT IS A LIE. The truth is you should never be “working so hard” that you sacrifice prayer and quiet time. Whether its through prayer or mediation - being present and reflecting on what you’re grateful for helps you set the right intention for your day and makes you feel secure in yourself. Focusing on the good things you have right now instead of always planning ahead for the future does wonders for your self-esteem and throws anxiety out the door.
Steps you can take
Here are 5 actionable steps you can take to start getting a healthy amount of balance in your life:
1. Perspective: Reframe what rest means from something negative to something positive by understanding how it helps you go further in life.
2. Focus: Distractions are inevitable, if you do find yourself reaching for your phone mid meditation, just pause and bring yourself back to your centre. Keep doing it till you break the habit.
3. Prioritise: I am team “you can have it all but not at the same time.” Trying to achieve all your goals at the same time isn’t realistic. Pick 1 or 2 to prioritise. Just because you can’t do something right now doesn’t mean you can’t do it later down the line.
4. Patience: Life is a marathoooon not a sprint. It’s good to be results driven yet but don’t get addicted to instant gratification. What you sew in one season may not come to fruition for years.
5. Habits: Have a morning routine that sets you up for your success. Be disciplined about it. Doesn’t matter if you “fall off” get back on it.
Remember at any given time you can change the direction your life is going in. Now that you are awake you can be intentional about taking steps in the right direction. The battle against rest and the insecurities that arrive when you’re not “busy” are all in your mind, so change your perspective, focus on the positives and live life on your own terms,
Did you enjoy my first ever blog post? Let me know what you think about rest and mindful in the comments below