You’re 17 now and I see you turning up in the club on the weekend. No wonder they call you Rockstar Tweezy. I’m not worried about you though because I know when it’s time to study for exams you got this. I know you’re smart and driven. You have big dreams and you’ll never lose sight of that.
On the surface your life seems pretty good. You have family and friends who love you which is great but I just have to ask…do you love yourself?
You seem super confident in front of people but behind closed doors I hear how you talk to yourself. So many negative thoughts swirling round your head…why do you entertain them, why do you let them stay?
That voice that tells you, you are not skinny enough has built a refuge in your mind. The words you are not enough seem to be on repeat. First you’re not skinny enough then you’re not smart enough then you have no talents or gifts. The vicious cycle in your mind seems like it’s never going to end. Now you’re crying because you can’t seem to shut your mind up. You think you’re the only person in the world with bad voices in their head and now you’re too scared to open up about how you feel. I know it’s frustrating but don’t worry you’ll discover the secret to dealing with self-doubt in your twenties and use it to change the world.
Yes you read that right, there is purpose to all the pain you feel right now. You just need to learn how to activate the greatness within you. But my dear Tiwalola gripping your thighs with irritation and not being happy with what you see in the mirror doesn’t help things. The fact that you have turned into your own hater and constantly compare your body to your sisters is holding you back. Here’s why:
Comparison is a dangerous game T. When you compare the worst of you with the best of other people it’s not even a fair comparison. Think of it this way, a square and triangle are both made up of lines but they form totally different shapes, for different purposes. There’s no equal ground to compare. The same way there’s 7 billion people on this planet and no one else is like you. That’s your superpower. Yes were made up of the same organs and bones but everyone has unique DNA and a unique God-given purpose. When you spend your time comparing yourself to others you take your eyes off your lane and your life and get fixated on what others are doing. It’s a car crash waiting to happen.
So, there is more to your life than how much you weight. I know this because by the time you turn 24 you’ll start a confidence revolution* speaking to 160 girls across 4 countries on the importance of self-love. You’ll also start your own business as a confidence coach bringing hope to young girls just like you. How sad would it be if you let your insecurities get in the way of changing people’s lives.
That’s why it’s important not to let the lies in your head paralyse you from being everything you were destined to be. The most important thing is to discover your truth and the truth is whatever feels good, right and loving. So when the voice in your head tells you you’re not skinny enough I want you to replace it with the truth. When God sees you, all he sees is goodness. He said that you Tiwalola are fearfully and wonderfully made. NO BUTS! When that voice returns tell em boy byeeeee and start reciting all the good things about you.
A manufacturer would never release an unfinished product, the same way your creator made you whole and complete before you were born. You are enough. What a revelation! So be careful about wishing you could be like someone else and remember everything you need to win in life is already within you.
Before I end I want to emphasise that you are not the voices in your head. The battle between good and evil happens in your mind. So it is normal to have conflicting thoughts. You just have to train your mind to make positive thoughts dominate over the negative ones. This is a skill you’ll perfect as you get older. It doesn’t happen overnight. You’ll also begin to realise that you can’t control the noise and chatter but you can control whether you listen to it or not.
So young Tiwalola, I forgive you for all the hurtful things you said to yourself.
I am proud of you for taking action to turn your dreams into a reality and for becoming an unstoppable force of empowerment and inspiration.
And lastly, I promise to use your story as a wake up call for a generation of young people to realise their own worth, strength and purpose.